Knight In Tarnished Armor

Death isn't the only way to escape an abusive situation, I'm living proof of that!
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Welcome to my World 
     During the years of marriage to the man I thought was my knight in shining armor, the violence that quickly escalated took me by surprise.  I had no idea the man he truly was, was not the man I married; sweet, considerate, loving and gentle.  There were reasons for the abuse, I was told, so I waited, hoping it would stop.  As the violence increased, I started a journal to document what was happening.  I would document our latest "encounter", make a copy and give it to my mother to hold in a large manilla envelope - just in case he killed me, there would be enough proof to put him away forever.  Sounds a bit sad, but when you are a victim, you think like a victim.
     What you will read in my book are those actual journal entries, as well as letters I had written to my husband and his doctors.  I have filled in with facts between the entries to flesh out my story and give you a glimpse into the world of a domestic violence victim.
      But the important part of Knight in Tarnished Armor is not my story.  The important part is the advice at the end, the safety plan, the encouragment, and hopefully the realization that if you are a victim, you are just one step away to being a survivor - that one step out the door that will lead to your freedom.  I'm not saying it's easy, but believe me, it's worth it. 
     I have my life back. I've never been happier and I'm stronger for having walked through the fire.  You can do it too and become the woman you want to be.  Take that step, we are here to help.
 
Erin Donovan
  
Help Spread the Word  
Domestic violence is a silent epidemic in this country - and all over the world.  Women and men are too ashamed and frightened to speak out about what is happening to them.  Society, and many times the police, look upon domestic violence as a family or personal issue and do not like to get involved.  We need to get involved, provide information to our teens to stop dating abuse, support our local abuse shelters with money and supplies, and reach out to those we know are being abused - and it's not just women!  Many men and children are abused also.
    Look over this website, take away the information and think about it and the victims.  It may be a neighbor, church member or sister and you have known about it but didn't know what to do.  Be there, offer a safe place to run to if they need it and just listen.  Don't judge, don't ask why they stay, just be there when they are ready to leave.  And if you should decide to buy my book, I ask that you pass it on, to a victims' shelter, a victim of abuse or a counselor of domestic violence victims - any place it can be read by a victim wanting to be a survivor.  Word needs to get out - please help me to do that.
 

How Do I Know If I'm a Victim of Domestic Violence?

 

Battering - shoving, pushing, restraining, pulling hair, hitting or kicking.

Sexual assault - sexual acts forced on a victim which are unwanted or declined by them.

Psychological assault - isolation from family and friends, forced financial dependence, verbal and emotional abuse, threats, intimidation, control over where the partner can go and what they can do

Attacks against property and pets - destorying property and treasured possessions, abusing or killing beloved pets.

 

Basically if you are questioning if you are abused, you most likely are.  Healthy relationship have their ups and downs, but there is an underlying respect for the other partner. If you feel like you are walking on egg shells, if you breathe a sigh of relief when you come home and he's not there yet, when you cringe at the sound of his voice, you are a victim of abuse.   Abuse comes from the need to control, and if the abuser feels he's losing control, the abuse increases in intensity and frequency.  If it hasn't already, don't let it get that far.  Get out and exchange "victim" for "survivor".

  About the Author

Erin Donovan still keeps a journal, but the entries are much more benign now.  She keeps busy reading, gardening, walking, traveling and working towards turning the spotlight on domestic violence.  She is co-founder of a woman's support group and founder of an organization that provides comfort sessions for victims of domestic violence.  You may contact her at knightintarnishedarmor@live.com