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| We don't really know for sure! Keep in mind that the following statistics are not totally accurate. There are two reasons for this: these are only the crimes that have been reported and documented, and even though these are the most current statistics we have, they are several years old. The pressure that the bad economy has put on families has increased the cases of domestic violence - we just don't have the current figures yet. The second reason is, most of the time there are years of abuse preceeding crimes when they finally are reported. These are the silent victims, who are being victimized and no one knows about it. For every domestic violence incident reported, there are many, many others that aren't. Also, statistics on emotional, financial and psychological abuse are almost impossible to obtain. This type of abuse is rarely brought to light unless, or until, it escalates into physical abuse that is reported. | |
| You are not alone! Just a few facts about Domestic Violence… * Nearly 1 million cases of domestic violence happen each year. * About 240,000 pregnant women are battered each year. * Nearly 30 percent of female murder victims are killed by their husbands or boyfriends. * More than 10 million children in the U.S. witness domestic violence. * Domestic violence is the largest single cause of injury to women in the U.S. It causes more injury than car accidents, stranger rapes or muggings. * A woman is battered every 15 seconds in the U. S. by an intimate –someone who promised to love and cherish her. * One in four women who commit suicide are victims of domestic violence. * Domestic violence does not occur in only poor, urban area. Women of all cultures, races, occupations, income levels and ages are battered. * 11% of all violence comes under the category of family violence. * While women are less likely than men to be victims of violent crimes overall, women are 5 to 8 times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner. * Violence by an intimate partner accounts for about 21% of violent crime experienced by women and about 2 % of the violence experienced by men. * About 75% of the calls to law enforcement for intervention and assistance in domestic violence occur after separation from batterers. One study revealed that half of the homicides of female spouses and partners were committed by men after separation from batterers
| | Teens and Abuse In this age of technology, involvement in another person's life is easy. Cell phones, pagers, Blackberries, computers...for most of us, our lives have become an open book, whether we like it or not. For teens, who don't remember time before instant messaging, they can't imagine it any other way. However, when someone uses that access into your personal life to become controlling and manipulative, it can very easily slide over into emotional and then physical abuse. Here are some things to watch for: - Guys will buy their girlfriends cell phones so they can "keep in touch." But before long, they need to know where their girlfriends are every second and the phone becomes a tether.
- A girlfriend has to show her loyalty by giving up her other friends, family and activites for him.
- The boy begins to control every area of the girls life from what she wears, to what she eats, and who she hangs out with.
- Put downs, insults and name calling become the norm, followed by shoving, slapping, pinching and hitting.
- The whole world revolves around the boy and his friends; the girl becomes just an attachment to his lifestyle.
- An out-of-proportion jealousy if she talks to another boy.
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| How can I help if I know someone is being abused? Good question...and I hope I can supply some answers. Voice your concerns kindly, but don't push the issue. Remember you are dealing with an emtionally abused person, don't add to their misery. They may be in denial. Let them know you have noticed behavior that makes you uncomfortable. If they shut you down, let it drop, at least you have opened the door to communication. They may just not be ready to let you in yet. Be supportive. Listen when they are ready to talk. Victims minimize their abuse, you you can be sure they are telling you only a fraction of what is really happening. Acknowledge their feelings whether you think they are right or wrong - they are their feelings and probably one of only a few things they have left that are truly their own. Ask gentle questions to get them to talk, but don't push if they can't go on. Once the floodgates open and they start to talk, listen. Try not to give advice. Most people don't give the right advice and it's hard to hear, when your relationship is falling apart, advice from someone who is safe in a secure relationship. If you know someone who is a survivor of abuse who would be willing to talk to them, ask if they would like to talk to someone who has been in the same situation. Don't judge, and whatever you do, don't look at them like they're stupid and ask, "Why don't you just leave?" That's putting the blame right back on the victim and there are many, many reasons why a victim doesn't leave. They will leave when the time is right. If you really care about them, offer them a place to run to when they are ready to leave. Welcome them and let them know they can call you, or show up on your doorstep, anytime day or night. Assure them that they are only responsible for their own actions, not the abuser's. Whatever they do, they'll have to live with their actions for the rest of their life, but they don't have to live with the abuser's actions. Encourage them to keep their dignity. It's tempting to sink to the abuser's level, but it just takes that much longer to rise again when it's time to rebuild your life. If you, personally, cannot help them in some area, try to assist them in finding the help they need. An abused person can be so beat down, just getting out of bed in the morning is a large task. Supply them with names, phone numbers or addresses of people or organizations that can help, but don't bug them about following through. They will when the time is right, they may not be able to face that just yet.
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